Freya’s Journey
Freya had never slept well since being born and as her parents we just accepted this and adapted to a life of constant tiredness. Freya’s sleep habits involved waking frequently right throughout the night. On a good night, this would be maybe twice and good nights occurred maybe once or twice a week. On the other night’s she would wake three to four times and struggle to get back to sleep. This understandably had a huge impact on Freya and also on us as parents. Over the years, we had tried every single trick in the book to improve the sleep issues. Some of the things we tried many many times, not wanting to give up, even though we were so exhausted ourselves. Nothing seemed to work and we couldn’t understand why Freya just couldn’t stay asleep.
Freya’s lack of sleep had been noticed in school and by the time she reached Year Four it was clearly having a detrimental impact on her ability to learn, concentrate and focus. The school brought this to our attention and they raised concerns that Freya was struggling in class, tired a lot of the time, unable to keep up, very forgetful and disorganised.
Freya attends a private school and therefore expectations on children are very high. Our concern as parents was that Freya would not be able to cope with the on-going demand of both class and homework and that ultimately we would have to look at an alternative school. This would have been devastating for Freya, having been in the same school since Nursery and therefore with a well established friendship group. As a young girl, these things are fundamental to maintaining healthy emotional wellbeing, confidence and positive sense of self.
After a meeting with the school to discuss the concerns, they recommended a visit to the GP and a referral to CAMHS to identify whether there were any underlying learning issues for Freya that hadn’t been identified which could be contributing to her inability to sleep. This we did immediately, however we were quickly advised by the GP that there would be a long waiting list for Freya to be assessed, anywhere between 12-18 months. This created huge anxieties for us as parents as we knew how crucial ‘time’ was in terms of trying to identify the issues and then gain support to try to manage these. We couldn’t let Freya continually fall behind and struggle for this length of time but didn’t really know what to do.
After some advice after talking to friends and colleagues, we paid privately for an Educational Psychologist to asses Freya for dyslexia as school had raised concerns around Freya’s ability to stay focussed when writing long pieces of work. She would often lie with her head on the table at school and writing a few paragraphs was exhausting for her. As I think back now, it wasn’t surprising that she was struggling with this, having very little sleep every night. Work that required any attention to detail, concentration and focus was just too stressful and challenging for her and she would often come home in tears from school after a difficult day in class.
The outcome of the dyslexia assessment identified that Freya did not have dyslexia and in fact that she had an outstanding memory, however her ability to process information quickly was below average. It was a relief to learn that Freya did not have dyslexia as we knew how this could make life challenging for her, however we still didn’t know which way to turn in terms of getting help with Freya’s sleep.
Then I found out about Neurofeedback through a friend and colleague of mine Sara Young. It sounded almost too good to be true and I was somewhat sceptical that it would have an impact considering the length of time that we had been living with the issues. When Freya attended for her initial assessment, I was saddened to find that several parts of her brain were experiencing sleep deprivation. But now looking back, of course this made sense. My little girl had been struggling for years and the impact was now clear to see. I felt devastated for her and could see from the information that her brain was telling us, that this was also impacting on other parts of her brain and therefore other areas of her life.
It was agreed that Freya would have regular neurofeedback sessions with Sara and that the main focus would be to work on the part of the brain that encourages calmness, relaxation and ultimately, sleep. Initially Freya struggled to keep still in the sessions (which lasted approx. 15 minutes) and she would repeatedly ask “how much longer do I have to sit here?” In order to support Freya with the process, Sara was able to provide a small, contained, calming and relaxing environment with a comfortable reclining chair, head rest and weighted blanket. Some of Freya’s favourite music was also chosen to play in the sessions. This had an immediate impact on how well Freya was able to engage with the process and the impact started to happen.
At around session five, we noticed at bedtime that Freya was beginning to have more of the ‘good nights’ every night, so this meant that she was only waking maybe once or twice and during these moments, she was self-regulating better and returning to sleep much quicker. As a family, we immediately felt the positive impact of this and energy levels for all of us began to improve.
It was around session eight that Freya started sleeping throughout the night without any waking at all! I honestly can’t put into words the changes that this has made for Freya and for us as parents apart from to say, it is remarkable.
Freya’s school have been very supportive of the sessions and they also have recognised the changes in Freya. She is alert, engaging and engaged in her learning. Her listening skills, concentration and focus have all improved. Her handwriting is now at the expected standard and any long writing exercises are no longer met with dread and fear. Homework used to be a battle in our house in the evenings, causing constant tension and upset due to the tiredness that we were all feeling, particularly at the end of the day. It would be a lie to say that Freya now enjoys her homework, however she now has so much more energy and she is able to maintain her concentration and focus to complete what she needs to do.
Freya’s neurofeedback journey is not yet over as at this point she has only had 10 sessions, which is truly amazing when we reflect on the changes that have happened in such a short time. I am excited for Freya to continue for a little while longer and to see her benefit from this on-going process. Sara’s intervention, way of working and support has enabled Freya, and us, to begin to live our lives with a new energy and awakeness that we’ve never felt for a very long time. The impact of neurofeedback has been life changing.
I will be forever grateful!
Freya’s parents